Face Your Fears

Ok so when I was about 6 years old or so, my Dad had me wrestling on the wrestling team. And me, never being much of a fighter would always get terrified and very nervous when I was about to have a match. This is usually how I react to every difficult situation I face in life where I’m put in a position where have to fight for something. (Mentally or physically) I am a very non-confrontational dude.

So anyway, I specifically remember this one time at a tournament. I absolutely did not want to fight this kid they had me up against. He was waiting in the ring for me and they had called my name over the loudspeaker. I immediately got afraid and ran away. I did not think that I could win and thought I was going to get beat up really bad. My Dad had followed me to my hiding place and had a long talk with me about having to face my fears. The whole auditorium was waiting for me to come out of that hiding place. And now looking back I realized that it is moments such as these that either make or break a person. Your true character will shine when faced with these types of decisions.  So what did I do? I slowly and reluctantly made my way up back to that ring and faced this kid toe to toe. I was shaking and I was crying the whole time I was standing up there looking at him. The referee looked at my Dad like “Are you sure you want this kid to fight?” And my Dad just told him to go! As soon as the Ref yelled, “Fight!” I exploded all over this kid! I was tossing him around like a ragdoll and beat him in less than a minute! I then shook his hand afterwards, as I was still shaking and crying from fear. This kid must have thought I was nuts! (HaHa) I didn’t realize back then but this was a precursor of what was to come later in my life.

So now I’m 20 years old, and suddenly remembered that one-day of wrestling when I was at the doctor’s office and they told me that I had paranoid schizophrenia. Most doctors did not think I was going to make it back to sanity because the majority of patients that were as sick as I was did not get better. It was at that moment that I realized how long of a road I had ahead of me to get better, not really knowing if it was ever going to be possible. This moment was going to either make or break me. I faced my fear crying and shaking the whole entire way. But I’m a stronger person for it now. Face your fears.