Mind Index

Live from her mistakes,
As you mistaken her alive,
She needs to survive,
In order for me to exist,
And persist,
To keep moving forward,
Roaming through,
This circle of truth,
There is no beginning or end,
It’s an unforgiving journey to mend, All of the pain,
All of the blame,
Which has been placed,
Traced,
Back to myself,

Because I never got the help, That I needed,
Completely defeated,
And untreated,

The events are forever repeated, Cannot be deleted,
From my regret,
Moments of solitude will not let, Me forget,

That I need to make this correct, This human error,
Cause and effect,
Causes me to introspect,

Into confusion and terror, Inside my head,
I need to go somewhere, Better,

Stare,
Into nowhere,
Forever,
And prepare to repair,
The scars,
That were ours,
Will I ever?
Get there?
I think never,
Because the bad memories,
We share, together,

Voices, another night we meet here again. I know I can always count on you to be there when I arrive. Voices, so set me off, make me feel alive, voices, pull all my emotions out, break them all up into pieces, put together my invincible species, voices, give me all that you got, voices, I'll give you all that I got, a lot, let's square off, I have nothing to lose, four ways I can corner you, it's your choice so choose, voices, so you say you think I won't follow through, and that you say you want to fight back two on two, I know I can always count on you not to give up, to live up, to my expectations, my negative revelations, my negative self-medication of self- mutilation, so go ahead, set me off, I'll go for broke, break it all up, because broken emotions is all I’ve got, voices, we're all trapped in this box, voices, forms the crowd of us, voices, another time we meet here again, somehow this voice sticks out of millions, my voice, for years of every second, voices, sixty frames of hatred, you better go before I build up a minute, this moment, I seem to hold it sacred, pictures I've painted black, voices, built from sadness, I'll title my portrait the infinite madness, voices, your irony feeds my laughter, your life's is a joke, and I know the punch line after, I'm now laughing out loud, lay the box out for display, just another day, in the life of my war face, so look me in the eyes and show me your voices, you ain't shit. you're just another disease, you feel it's free to breathe when you’re taking from another life in need, It’s your f**kin greed, in my head you try to plant your seed, well you better believe, that my soil does not feed, your fungus and your weeds, because I have strong roots, your confusion is understanding I take true, the day you become real, you will realize I could never be you, a delusion of one mind, I have you all defined, with one name, face to face, I see right through your game, Sane if only you could bring me there, or would you just bring me to a lifeless stare? Why don't you trade your minds and put a good one to use, maybe you'd see yourself from my point of view, voices, see me, the human anomaly, driven to intervene, I'm the multi-colored figurine, walking through the black and white re-run that is your world, black and white re-run men, women, boys, and girls, listed in the credits, neglecting my presence, because your images have to change color to own individuality, nobody has one personality, just a memory of casualties left behind, broken pieces of time and past lives, your lives are destroying your own, we're all in this together, together I am alone, as I spend my time in hiding, through mathematics and dividing, looking back I can’t help my crying, because your reality is dying, and I’m becoming alive.

 Day,
333,
Was the end of you and me, There is so much disarray, These eyes have seen,
I think I had too much caffeine, Need to remain,

Sane,
Obtain, Control,
Of the whole, Manic, Mental panic, Machine,

I’m absolutely without, A doubt,
Confidently, Consequently,

Sure,
This is too much to endure, This rage,
At the age,
Of nineteen,
This unseen,
Routine,
Of staring,
Glaring,
Into this mental, Coincidental,
Memory,
Negative energy,
Picture screen,
316,
Days,
Ways,
To shape,
Escape,
My mind,
Blind,
To all mankind,
Pacing,
Mind racing,
Idea chasing,
Image erasing,
Concept replacing,
Intently gazing,

Through these eyes,
There is a world of chaos to organize, Now I have no time for friends,
As I sit here,
With no fear,
All alone again,
Closer and closer to the immeasurable, Inevitable,
End,
On the edge,
Ready to leap,
And descend,
In to the deep,
I did not intend,
To miss all this sleep,
And for the present tense,
Of unfortunate events,
To end up this way,
For my logical thought process to decay, Focusing enough,
Opening up,
The gateway,
To a higher plane,
Of consciousness,
To a faster moving brain,
Filled with cognizance,
Anxiety and chest pain,
Highly prominent,
I have to understand what this is about, My time is running out,
I have to deeply concentrate,
Before I’m too late,
Dying in my sleep,
Peels apart all my living dreams,
It seems,
As if the world spins around my head, Megalomaniacal they said,
They said,
I was dead,

I have to find a solution,
To this irregular speeding heartbeat, This incomplete,
Resolution
This Concrete,
State of confusion,
Pushing life aside,
As both my perceptual worlds collide, Trying to visualize,
Make sense,
Of the present tense,
Chaos I see through these eyes,
It may be order in disguise,
A world full of subconscious, Conscience,
Cries,
Eventually when the meaning dies, They,
Say,
This is the day,
I need to be institutionalized.

 

Live from her mistakes,
As you mistaken her alive,
She needs to survive,
In order for me to exist,
And persist,
To keep moving forward,
Roaming through,
This circle of truth,
There is no beginning or end,
It’s an unforgiving journey to mend, All of the pain,
All of the blame,
Which has been placed,
Traced,
Back to myself,

Because I never got the help, That I needed,
Completely defeated,
And untreated,

The events are forever repeated, Cannot be deleted,
From my regret,
Moments of solitude will not let, Me forget,

That I need to make this correct, This human error,
Cause and effect,
Causes me to introspect,

Into confusion and terror, Inside my head,
I need to go somewhere, Better,

Stare,
Into nowhere,
Forever,
And prepare to repair,
The scars,
That were ours,
Will I ever?
Get there?
I think never,
Because the bad memories,
We share, together,

 

I hate to want you,   

You want to hate me,

You hate to want me,   

I want to hate you,

I completely love your hate,

Hating your love completes me,

You have to fear me   

I fear to have you,

I completely hate your love,

Loving your hate completes me

You completely love your hate   

Hating your love completes you