I Was That Guy

Disclaimer- The stories in these blogs reflect the type of person I USED to be before I had started receiving treatment for my paranoid schizophrenia. I, in no way condone or approve of the type of behavior displayed in these stories I tell about my old life but rather try to simply state the idea that this is the person I used to be, and have since then learned from my mistakes and am in the process of turning my life around for the better. Part of my therapy is writing down these old stories as an attempt to take all of those negative things in my life and turn them into something positive and productive. So I want to thank you for supporting this positive cause by reading and being interested. It sincerely means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy reading the short story blogs I write about my life. -Joseph

OK so back in high school I NEVER got good grades. I was mostly a "D" and "F" type student. All I did was pretty much clown and F**k around constantly. One time I saw the principal walking down the hallway and I drew a huge 4- foot wiener on the wall as he was on his way to my classroom. As you can imagine, I had no fear of punishment from authority figures. Consequently, in light of my artistic vision, I got suspended the next day and ended up going to the beach to celebrate. I used to do drugs in the parking lot of the school. (Not a good idea let me tell you) I cut class constantly. I once took 3 pieces of yellow lined paper, vertically taped them together, and again, drew a huge wiener on them and taped it to my history teacher's pull down map that he had hanging from the blackboard. So… the next time he was teaching a lesson in geography to another class, he would pull down the map and get a huge surprise! The hall monitors were constantly chasing me but could never catch me. I made armpit fart noises in the middle of class all the time (And believe me I was really good at them). I always disrupted others in my class by asking to copy their homework, tests, asking for money, cigarettes, etc. I was pretty much always so high in school that when I think back, it is hard for me to remember certain things. I was even told by an old classmate years after high school that I one time threw a garbage can at my teacher in the middle of a lesson! This is to give you an example of how out of control I was. But one day this was about to take a huge turn on me.

So my good friend Tim and I (Who by the way won Class Clown) were walking down the "Smart Kids" hallway, to of course, naturally smoke a cigarette in the bathroom. This was an everyday ritual for us. After our smoke, we would always then proceed to walk down that whole hallway while I was beat boxing with my mouth and he was rapping. We would do this verrrrry loud. (lol) We used to do it to get a rise out of the teachers and the "Smart Kids" in all the "Smart Classes". Anyway, so one day we were following our routine of class disruption as usual and one of the teachers finally comes out furious and says, "YOU GUYS DISRUPT MY CLASS EVERYDAY! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS HALLWAY! THIS HALLWAY IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING SOMWHERE IN LIFE!" I couldn't believe it! I was speechless. However, in the twisted logic in my brain at the time, I immediately celebrated that occasion by walking into the parking lot, leaving school, and smoking a joint. (LOL)

Anyways fast-forward many years later after I get out of the mental institution that I ended up in. This was after trying to kill myself (We all know that story by now lol). But anyway this was around the time that I was forced to kick drugs, and really start seriously coping with my schizophrenia. My passion for music ran as deep as my passion to become sane again. Which in retrospect was probably one of the most difficult things I ever had to do in my life. So what did I do around that period in time? I started my own record company to put out my own music (still own it to this day by the way) and tried to go back to college to learn how to run a business. Anyway, I was really serious about being in school for the first time in my life. It was weird to me. I never actually ever tried to do well before so this was going to be a huge challenge. But I figured if I could become sane again, then I can do anything. So here I am in my first day of class. Nervous as hell! This guy then walks in and sits next to me. He starts talking to me and is all like, "Hey Man, I like your tattoos." I was all like, "Thanks." And thinking that would be the extent of our conversation, this guy just kept talking to me as the teacher was teaching the lesson! I was trying to ignore him the best I could but he was relentless about dumb shit that I didn't think was funny at all. The teacher even got in on it and told him to shut up. This guy would just then make stupid comments and look around to everybody in the class like," Yeah you all think I'm hilarious right?!?" Everyone just kind of did the same thing I did. Ignored him. Eventually this guy got frustrated that nobody gave a shit about him and he walked out of the classroom.

Anyways it wasn't until that moment, years after I barely graduated high school that I suddenly realized how people must have felt about me back in those days. You know, being high in class constantly, drawing wieners on things, and throwing garbage cans at my teachers and what not. (Especially the "Smart Kids" in the "Smart Hallway") I never finished college however, but the short time I was in it I got straight "A's". Maybe I will finish one day who knows. I've always been one to want to do things my own way, which is probably why I'm not really the college type. But anyway, all I do know is that I just continued on with my college studies that day after that kid walked out of the classroom and chuckled to myself in the idea that knowing that at one time, I was that guy!