The Shallow Chronicles

What’s up music guy? Nothin what’s up sl**ty female? Nothin much, so how’s your band goin? It’s like we’re brothers you know bra? We’re like real tight and s**t, and like nothing could separate us. I mean its like we all share the same creative vision to just create this art masterpiece that is my pain, our pain, but mostly mine because I’m like the singer/leader you know? Wow that’s sooooo cool. I wish I had a strong connection like that with someone, I mean like I feel lots of pain too you know but like I just don’t know how to like let it out and express it like the way you do. Yeah, it’s just like, you know, I think of my music as like a reflection of my emotions and my personality. It’s like, you know, there’s my reflection looking at me and it’s saying, I’m you bra, this is how you feel bra, And it like medicates my introspections on my disturbing nature of my personality, you know bra? Whoa, that’s sooo cool, and like seriously that’s how you feel??? Totally bra!! But you know it’s also kind of like you know for example sometimes I say to my reflection, hold up!!! Hey bra, you’re wrong, you’re destroying me. Wow, I never thought of it that way before. So what’s the name of your band again? Man I’m so drunk. Me too bra, (hahahahahaha) The name of my band is disturbing troubled puddles of emotions that drown my thoughts as they sink to the bottom of the ocean of this world without an oxygen tank. Wow that’s deep. (So is my throat) Well, I’m a deep person bra. No way, you didn’t think of that! That’s so poetic. Yo, I swear on my mothers soul bra (rest in peace) It took me five years of emotional experience to search for that name within myself. Your mom’s dead? Oh my god I didn’t know, that’s horrible, I’m so sorry, are you ok?? Well, you know, I don’t talk about it a lot, but I guess you’re cool bra. Gimmie a second… Yeah, you know, it like changed me, I found myself and my spiritual influences, and like, I have a whole different approach on life now. I never take true love for granted you know, I just don’t want to be another, you know, testosterone driven walking h**d on. I have emotions, you know, and I wanna express that. And that’s what I got out of the whole thing. It like touched me. I wanna touch you. If you don’t mind, can I ask how she died? You don’t have to tell me if it brings you too much pain. Na, it’s cool bra, my life is pain. But yeah, she choked on a meatball sandwich. Oh my god that’s so tragic!!! Wow it sounds like you’ve been through a long emotional journey, oops my t**s are showing. Yeah, and it’s like the name of my band expresses the way I feel about my place in the zoo we call this world. It’s like, people cage me from my feelings and they give me food every now and then to satisfy my basic physical needs because they think that it satisfies my passion to be free and to be a free thinker. But I just play music so I can break out of the chains of life that hold me down. Wow, you’re so metaphysaphorical, I never met anybody like you before, It sounds like you know a lot about this world and you’re just real!!! Oh my god, I’m f*****ing my p***y right now. Well you know, I’ve been through a lot. A LOT!!! And that’s the reason why I got my tattoo. Oh my god you have a tattoo??? AHHHH I’m pretending my f****r is your d**k now. Yeah bra, It’s the chinese symbol for wisdom right on my shoulder, I mean, the reason I got chinese is because my mothers cousins nieces brothers former college roommate was chinese, and I feel like it expresses that side of me, My inner child. Your feminine side, AHHHH, I’m f***in f*******g my as***le. I mean you know bra, It’s like, my china expresses my inner v***na, that I’m not afraid to bring out because that’s what I’m all about. I’m deep and you’re just a creep. That’s a verse in one of my songs. What’s the title??? Oh my god that was so f***in cool!!! The song is called, don’t be jealous because I have cooler more meaningful tattoos than you that are not trendy because I’m an individual. Wow, I can totally relate to you, alright check this out right, it’s like when I’m with other guys and I’m f***in s***in their f***in c***s and then they refuse to go down on me and they just treat me like another s**t, I’m just like, f**k you ok, you’re a f***in jerk alright, I’m a f***in individual alright. Fuck this, I’m just not gonna f***in swallow now. Yeah that’s what I’m sayin bra!!! Refuse their food, break out of the zoo, don’t be controlled!!! Oh my god I feel like you just totally touched my soul. You wanna touch the cottage cheese venereal disease on my p***y???? Yeah, you know bra, It’s like we’re the same person, I can relate to you in so many ways, hey maybe you should start a band like me, Maybe it will help you deal with your issues bra. AHHHHH, let’s f**k!!!! That’s cool bra, I’ll have sex with you even though we’ve only known each other for like 20 minutes. I feel like you’re my soul mate, no one has ever touched me the way you just have. I mean I feel like I can talk to you about anything, and it’s rare for people to touch me on that level of deep emotion like you just have. I mean do you feel the same way?? Yeah totally, just f***in s***k it in me already!!! Alright here I go, AHHH, I think I love you. AHHHHH your c**k feels so f***in good!!! Let’s get married and have kids. OH YEAHHHHHH!!!